Yoga and Healing

Yoga – The Greatest Gift

 

Seven years ago, I gave birth to my daughter Ella. My husband and I were very excited to be having a baby. I had a wonderful full-term pregnancy. I ate right, exercised everyday, didn’t drink alcohol, and stayed away from anyone who was smoking.  My due date came and went and I was two weeks overdue when I finally went into labor. My labor was very hard and long, Ella went into distress and was not breathing when she was born. She was taken away from me, the next time I saw her she was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

On the third day after her birth, I was finally able to hold Ella. It was a wonderful moment, then the doctors told us she was having seizures and had severe brain damage. We took Ella home at three weeks not really knowing what to make of the doctor’s gloomy predictions. A couple of months later, she was diagnosed with spastic quadriplegia cerebral palsy and we were told she would never walk or talk.

I fell into a deep depression that lasted for three years. The depth of my depression was so extreme that I shudder to think of the dangerous thoughts I had during this time. Despite my depression, I manage to do a lot of research on alternative therapies for brain injury. We tried a lot of them, some worked and many didn’t. With the therapies that worked, Ella improved. She has gone from a screaming baby to a happy little girl who smiles all of the time.

One of the therapies that I researched was Yoga for the Special Child™ developed by Sonia Sumar http://www.specialyoga.com/. I’d practiced yoga for many years before Ella was born so I was drawn to Sonia’s program. In the workshop, I was introduced to a step-by-step integrated system of yoga asanas designed to increase cognitive and motor skills. Sonia also encouraged me to practice yoga again and read many of the ancient yoga texts. One of the lessons that I learned from my readings was that in order for me to care for Ella I had to care for myself. I began practicing yoga everyday by myself and with Ella. I woke each morning washed my face, brushed my teeth, read from the yoga texts, meditated and practiced yoga asanas. My depression began to lift and Ella continued to improve. By practicing with Ella everyday, I gained a sense of power over her recovery, finally feeling like I could help her. Sharing our yoga practice gives us a chance to connect in a loving and gentle way. As we go through our practice, I think about the important lesson of non-attachment that yoga teaches: letting go of any expectations. I live in the present moment finding joy each day and marveling at my incredible daughter and all she has overcome. By learning and living the lessons of yoga each day I have come to peace with the tragedy of Ella’s birth and I have moved on. Ella is the greatest gift I could have ever received. She has taught me more about the person I hope to become than anyone else could. Ella is my guru!